DAUSA Cycling Team Shines in the 2005 L.A.-Long Beach River Ride

May 17, 2005

20050517081916917_1.jpgAfter finally owning the state-of-the art cycling gear: $3,500.00 race bike, $300 for uniform, $250 Adidas rubber shoes and a $250.00 for a pair of sunglasses, the DAUSA Cycling Team made its first public appearance in the 45-mile Long Beach-Los Angeles River Ride held Sunday, May 15, 2005.

According to Team Captain Mayor Leonie Abella “the 45-mile River Ride is just a stepping stone towards our goal of qualifying for the 5-day 2000-mile Tour of California – or perhaps the U.S. Tour, who knows.”

“Our team is in good shape, everyone is progressing fast and we are satisfied with our team’s performance, DAUSA Cycling Team Manager Leo Montegrande said .”

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STARBUCKS NOW IN DANAO CITY

November 15, 2002

This is indeed a welcome news, especially to some snooty Balikbayans who come to town every year with the Balik Danao group, but are gone after a few a days “because we cannot normally function unless we drink our favorite brew.” (Years back, in old Danao, they had 5¢-a-pack Dragon coffee or home-made “corn-fee” (pinaig-bugas) in the morning.)

With STARBUCKS in town, Balikbayans may now have their fill anytime, anywhere (even home service) and be drinking all day to their hearts’ delight. (click read more to see photo of Starbucks)

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TRAVEL ADVISORY FOR BALIK DANAO TRAVELERS

August 21, 2002

20020821222307600_1.jpgOne positive result of the 9/11 tragedy is that people now takes travel precaution more seriously. Since then private and government offices are issuing travel advisory to their employees who travel outside U.S.

Only recently for U.S. federal employees traveling to countries classified “high risk” including the Philippines, either on official or unofficial trip, attendance in a terrorism seminar is mandatory, also for accompanying spouses. They are provided safety tips on how to avoid becoming victims of terrorist attacks.

Concerned as we are on the well-being and safety of our fellow Danawnaons, we have issued our own travel advisory appropriate for the Balik Danao travelers leaving this September to attend the City Fiesta celebration.

Although, Danao remains the most peaceful city in the country, if not in the world, still we find it necessary to warn Danawanons of possible situations that can be life-threatening.

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Danao Leaders Kiss and Make Peace

July 5, 2002

[Note: Originally posted on the Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994.]

…After a brief rumble in Summit Meeting

Leaders of the fragmented Danao City’s Southern California residents for the first time held a summit meeting at a downtown hotel in an attempt to thresh out their differences and pave the organization of a truly united Danao Association.

The unprecedented move to unite three factions of combative Danawanons of Southern California was initiated by Fr. Jonathan Lao who was approached by concerned and cool-headed town-mates for him to intervene, act as mediator and patch up differences.

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A Star is Born: Benny Peralta is Gringo

July 5, 2002

[Note: Originally posted on the Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994. ]

Our very own Benny Peralta will soon be missed by fellow Danawanons in Los Angeles, for at least a year, during the entire production of a Gringo Honasan  flick “Run Gringo, Run”

Benny has been offered to play the lead role as Gringo by an Oscar nominated action film director that Benny met and befriended while frequenting a topless bar in Hollywood.

According to Benny’s Manager, Paeng Mangubat,   the Gringo Honasan movie is a first Paramount Pictures-Viva Films joint production  that will be filmed entirely in Manila and Montalban, Rizal.

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Danao-made Paltiks are Weapons of Choice among U.S. Criminals

July 5, 2002

[Note: Originally posted on the Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994.]

This could be a  boon to the city’s sagging economy or a bane to the pistoleros of Danao.

Danao gunmakers could be subject to a massive and sustained efforts to put them in jail and out of business, as both FBI and the CIA are alarmed of the non-stop entry to the U.S. of the Danao Paltik and into the hands of criminals.

The once derided poor quality Made-in-Suba handguns have become the weapons of choice among inner city criminals according to an FBI report.

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Danao Paramedic dies while applying CPR

July 5, 2002

[Note: Originally posted on the Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994.]

So bizarre was how a healthy paramedic died after applying CPR that saved the life a Barangay Caputatan resident.

Salvador del Mundo-Casas, a 23-year old Paramedic of the Danao City Rescue Unit quickly responded to an emergency call and miraculously saved the life of Eduardito Kandingon of Barangay Caputatan.

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Mermaid caught in Danao City Wharf

July 5, 2002

[Note: Originally appeared in the Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994.]

Witnessed by at least 5 other fishermen, Cebu Custom Examiner Periong Satina, caught what appeared to be a 18-year old mermaid (serena or kataw) while fishing at the pantalan.

Either scared of revenge from other under-the-sea creatures, or probably his wife, Malda, may not like the prospect of keeping an extremely beautiful half-woman, half-fish mammal at their house, Periong decided to let go of the mermaid.  (MM)

Yes, it will be in Looc! Trump Casino in Danao

July 5, 2002

[Note: Originally appeared on the Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994]

Accompanied by L.A. businessman Fred Tuadles, Donald Trump visited Barangay Look to inspect the progress of on-going construction of the Tump Palace, the biggest gambling casino in the Pacific Rim.

Capitalized at .5 billion, the Trump Palace will feature the best of Las Vegas, designed to attract high rollers of Japan, Hongkong, Taiwan and Middle Eastern oil potentates.

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Danao City Politics: Ago Sepulveda to run for mayor

July 5, 2002

[Note: Originally posted on Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994.]

When Durano family spokesman, Nards Capitan announced that neither in*censored*bent Danao City Mayor Jesus ‘Don’ Durano nor any member of his family would seek elective positions in the 1995 election, Danao’s political wannabees went scrambling to take a shot in the mayorship including ex-convict Santiago Sepulveda.

Contrary to reports that Danao’s most wanted fugitive was shot dead in an encounter with police authorities, Ago Sepulveda is very much alive and kicking and has declared his candidacy for city mayor under the KBL banner with Warlito Dungog as running mate.

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